In celebrating my less than three week away return to Nepal, I am going to share a story about life on the other side. I went to the Nepali Eye Hospital with one of the guys from Kripaa Sadhan. While I was there, I decided to have my eyes checked as well. Big mistake. I was told to lay on a stretcher and suddenly a man was shoving some tool towards my eye. I jumped out of the bed…Parkinous…ma tyaari chhains. “Wait, I am not ready!” I asked him if I should first take out my contact lenses. “What?!? You are wearing lenses. Of course you need to take them out.” So without explaining what he was doing, he shoved the tool towards my eye again. I guess it is the old-school tool used for checking eye pressures. Then he diagnosed me with Glaucoma. Umm, hello? I was freaking out… I asked him more questions about glaucoma and then he stated, “Oh, you don’t have glaucoma.” Wonderful bedside manner. That was my first and last visit to the Nepali eye hospital.
But while I was there, I had my big break into the film industry of Nepal. Or more accurately the “teach yourself english” DVD industry. A Nepali woman approached me at the hospital and explained that her husband was looking for foreigners who would be willing to read English texts and be recorded. For whatever reason it sounded like a blast to me. I had this secret desire to do something like this because it would be hilarious. I set up a time to meet him at his office.
I was ushered into the office, force fed Chow Mein, and everyone laughed and joked that my name means “banana” in Nepali. You know the jokes I have never heard before. But I will say, I still laugh at them even though are really lame.:) I was wearing a blue sweater that just happened to match the background in the recording room. Great. But do not fear because I can wear the sweater of the assistant who is a petite Nepali. I came out wearing a turtleneck red sweater with snowflakes that was a little too tight. I was ready for that moment to be documented. 
The the fun part started. I got to say things like, “Look at all the pigeons” while pointing in the air. Or “I like oranges.” Or “Do you like the white color sweater?” I had to do this all without laughing and read the mistakes in English without changing my expression. It was a challenge. We had to start over numerous times when I was laughing. Eventually we got done, I got paid (crazy!) and left for the day.
They liked me so much that I got called to be the Emcee at the DVD release party. They rented out a hall and I got to meet the guy who was the other Emcee, “Graddy”. Well after calling him “Graddy” for quite a while, he informed me that his name was really Grady. We would have to introduce the people who were invited to give speeches. The unfortunate part of it was that the man in charge failed to tell you who actually showed up.
My former Nepali teacher was one of the special guests. I gave a heartfelt introduction telling the audience about the university class and what a privilege it was to introduce my teacher. Blah, Blah, Blah. “And I now present to you, Manjul (my teacher’s name)….” Silence. Again, “Manjul….” Silence. So I nervously moved on, tripping over Nepali names that I had never pronounced before.
Then they showed the video. It was hilarious. They overdid the graphics, considering I (on the video) was in Paris, at a park, at the beach, etc. There were flames and fluorescent texts. And they jumped from topic to topic so fast. I am not sure if anyone could learn English from this tape.
I do have a copy of the tape and if I can figure out how to post it, I will give you a sample.:)
