A Broken heart…

Well, it has been way to long since I have written on this thing.  This keeping in touch thing is not going so well.  But I want to get back into it.  I want people to have a window into my life here and be a part of my journey here.

At the end of July Silas, Kim, Jedi, Adia, Eli and Priya West returned to the States after 10 years of service in Nepal.  They were our Field Directors, our friends and our family here.  It was a privilege to serve alongside of them for almost 5 years.  It has been a month already since they have left and I miss them still.  I miss Jedi’s random facts about crocodiles, Adia’s clutzy dance moves, Elijah saying, “kick it out” instead of “check it out” and Priya’s growling voice.  Jesse Heirendt is our new Field Director.  He is a really great guy…keep him in your prayers as he walks into this new season of leadership.

I got the opportunity to play in a basketball tournament here in Kathmandu.  Our team was called the Snow Leopards (an incredibly fierce name), the average age of our team was 32ish and we played against 16 and 17 year olds.  But it was a BLAST!  We ended up winning the tournament (it helped that we had 3 players over 5′10″ and were playing against 5′3″ girls) and got certificates and medals.  We are going out to celebrate our victory tonight.  And I must say, we had the best fans!  A special shout out goes to Calvin and Liz…the Snow Leopards Super Fans!  They were learning how to say in Nepali, “Ref, get some glasses.”  Ha ha, they were certainly a force to be reckoned with.

Today I began volunteering at a childrens home in Kathmandu.  This particular home receives every baby that is abandoned at local hospitals or police stations.  It was opened in 1964 and is in an old palace.  From the outside it looks like a ghost town, but as you walk inside the little voices of over 200 children can be heard.  There are kids from the age of 20 days (so sweet!) all the way up to 16 years old.

Since returning to Nepal, I have not felt like I can just pick up and continue the work I was doing with the young men addicted to drugs.  For whatever reason, I did not feel released by God to do that.  I have been focusing on language, but have missed having people to pour my life into.  The past months Brook and I have had numerous experiences with babies.  I recently got to be at the hospital with another friend as she delivered a precious baby girl.  Brook has been working with a young teenager who just had a baby boy.  Brook actually saw a baby who was dead in the trash pile near the river where we live.  Many people abandon their babies near or in the river.  Through many of these experiences, we have just felt drawn to work with babies.  After hearing about this childrens home, we were both excited to go and hold these little ones.  Each Friday I hope to go there, hold them, feed them, change their diapers and play with them.  It is simple really, but touch is so important for these little ones.

Today I arrived at the childrens home and jumped right into it.  I am working in a room with about 19 or 20 babies and two staff members.  They are so hungry for touch and love being held.  There is a little one year old girl that is blind.  I picked her up and she touched my face with her little hands.  She nestled her head on my shoulder and seemed so content.  The moment I set her down, she arched her back, slammed her head against the bed, and screamed.  I felt so sad because I knew that I could not give that little girl what she needs.

Working in this home has broken my heart again.  As hard as that is, it is so good too.  I feel like since I have returned to Nepal, I have been guarding my heart a bit.  It hurts sometimes to feel deeply for people.  But I feel like God is allowing my heart to be made soft again for people and to struggle through the hard questions of life.  As I look at those little kids, I wonder what their lives will be like.  I wonder where God is in a world of suffering.  I wonder what it would have been like for me to grow up in a home like that.  I wonder about God’s heart to see the “lonely placed in families.”

So many images are in my mind from today. There is a little five year old boy with Downs Syndrome who just grabbed me and would not let me go.  There is this little blind 5 month old baby who laughed when I held her in my arms.  There is a little baby boy who fell asleep in my arms.  There is the woman that has worked 24 hrs a day for 2 years in that home.

And I feel God’s love rising up in me.  His heart to proclaim words of life and truth over these little ones.  His heart to see these little ones loved and told that they are precious in His sight.  Please keep us in your prayers as we serve there.  We really want to help the women that work so hard at that home and just love on these little ones.